Wednesday, January 10, 2007

She looked so comfortable in her own skin

I want to learn to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to not feel anxious when the yoga guy, Rodney, says just lay and relax into yourself. Honest to god, those yoga tapes can be the most triggering aspect of my day. Weird! So much of them rely on my feeling myself and often, I have no feeling of my body. There are times where I do not feel pain or cold. When my body feels like a totally different being from me. It is utter disassociation and quite uncomfortable when you see someone who seems so comfortable in her own skin. I want that.

Moreover, the feeling that my body is not myself does make me want to not eat. But my body is a lot of me and lets me do so many cool things. Why do I hate it so much and why to I insist upon hurting it?

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