Friday, March 28, 2008

This Disordered World

So, now that I am trudging through recovery in a fairly confident way, I have noticed a lot about this world and the inherent disordered-ness. Two cases have recently caught my eye
  1. I went to go buy a belt yesterday. I was unable buy a women's belt. I had to buy a men's belt. Too bad I'm too f*t to be feminine. Except I am anything but.
  2. I need a new hunt coat, especially if it is going to double as a suit jacket. Sorry, the size I bought when I was 14 is the largest size Dover sells.
I get to have lunch with Robert Frank!

Now imagine me jumping up and down and screaming that around my room. . . that's how excited I am.

I am such a geek.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I hate it when I make him uncomfortable.

Boundaries are complex and there is no equation. Damn.

Six Months!

Today is six months since I have used ED or SI behaviors. I feel like I should be more excited than I am. Maybe that's a good thing, indicating that it isn't that important. But it is THAT important. After ten years, I'm finally getting better. Gaining control of this part of me that has always been so overwhelming for so LONG.

Good for me. I think.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Importance (or lack thereof) of Diagnoses

One of the kickers about my journey with mental illness has been the reaction that everyone wants to figure out what label I should wear, me included. As a result, I have quite a list; Borderline Personality, OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality, Bulimia, Anorexia, ED-NOS, Major Depression, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. As far as I can tell, that list is useless. That's not to say diagnoses are useless, far from it. Sometimes the MH professionals get scared when they meet someone they cannot figure out; that's almost everyone they meet. So we end up with a list of diagnoses, as though that solves the problems, as though explaining by naming works well. It does not. Carl Rogers did not come up with a taxonomy of diagnoses in his psychological theory because he felt the list would distract from the real issues. He is very right in that regard.