Tuesday, July 31, 2007

98% of the time

Everything about having an eating disorder seems "normal." It doesn't seem different than any other person's life. It just feels like a normal day, a normal life. But then, every once in a while, I realize that other people don't do this. They don't lie about what they had for breakfast. They don't have panic attacks when they see the menus. They definitely don't purge. But those things strike me as odd only at few moments. Not even when I am getting ready to b/p do I think about how disordered it is. It doesn't feel strange.

Maybe that's why I am so resistant to the idea of changing. Being different would feel strange. I like the familiar.