A thing about recovering is that you KNOW what's normal and abnormal. And sometimes, I don't care. I can have the completely rational half of me know completely and totally what is going on, that I am slipping, that I am binging with the intent of purging, that I am going to cut to see who cares enough to ask AND I STILL binge, purge, and cut. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I know b/p and SI DON'T help me in the least, but I still do sometimes.