Thanks to Dr. B's rant on Wednesday and his lovely little indirect comment to my weight, I have been on an ED plunge for the past four days. I am slowly pulling myself out of it, but his voice is still stuck in my head, only my ED has taken what he said and multiplied it by 100. FAT, FAT, FAT RACHEL!!! is just screaming in my head. SCREAMING!!! And I do not want to hear it anymore. Frankly, I am exceptionally annoyed by it, but I absolutely believe the voice. Even the N said I was slightly above normal weight. WHAT THE HELL???
It is so frustrating to have the real world exist when I want everything to be neatly set up to help me recover. Ain't going to happen, I know, but it would be so nice to have everybody know to not talk about weight or food. It would be nice to have all "safe" foods around, both for purchase and in my room. But I do live in the real world, I just do not know how to recover in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment