For Five Minutes. . .

For five minutes today, I was okay with myself. I have not the foggiest idea what to do with that or what to do with the fact that I hate myself again. But for five minutes I was contented. I was okay with the fact that I was in recovery. I was not incessantly berating myself about my weight or body image. I was just content with the fact that I had given myself some downtime after my appointment and I took a brief nap. Just enough to let myself relax out of the stress of the appointment. I have some serious challenges ahead, I know I do, but I am willing to do this. Despite the excuses and the buts, I am willing. I am still uncertain about the able part of the equation, but I am willing.