Learning Something

I don't have very strong emotions. Yes, I do have emotions that I have not learned how to handle. I have feelings and emotions, but I also have tools to deal with them. My methods are less than safe, but I am working on developing safer ones. But in reality, I am fairly Stoic in my philosophy. I have an awareness of the responsibility I have in given situations. Let me give you an example. . .
My grandfather died last night.
He was ninety. He smoked for seventy years. He was very lonely. He was not very happy in his life. He was happy that he got to see some of his grandchildren get married, great grandchildren be born, and outlive most of his friends and relatives. He did not want to go to a nursing home; he wanted to die in the house he built. He did.

I am not sad. My roommate called me inhuman last night because I am not sad about this. It's not that I don't care or don't acknowledge that some people would be sad in this situation, I just don't have any control over the situation and his death is not a huge trauma. He lived a full life, much more than many other people. I have no control over his death and I am happy that he did not let my parents and aunts push him into a nursing home where he would have been miserable, even if he had lived for a few extra years. I do, however, feel like an awful person because I am not sad. I wasn't close to him. I do have the emotion of sadness, but just not right now. Am I somehow less than human because I don't have the emotions I am supposed to have?

I do get sad. If my horse died, I would be sad because I would feel some responsibility. I would have lost something very important to me. I would not be convinced that my horse is better off not living. But the given the situation, I don't emote sadness. I am not an emotional person.

THAT'S OKAY. My entire life I have been told that I should feel this or have this emotion or not have this other emotion. My roomie labeled me inhuman and uncaring because I am not sad because millions of people do not have adequate food and water. I know, but why should I be sad about that? My roomie decided I don't appreciate beauty because I don't understand why people walking by a virtuoso violinist is a travesty. It's not that I am nonchalant or uninvolved or detached, I am primarily simply in control and very aware of what is going on in my mind.

I am hyper-aware of my mental processes (as if you haven't figured this out yet) and I use such awareness to my benefit. Is it wrong that I choose to control some of my emotions? Am I somehow not adequately experiencing life because I am so Stoic? Less human? Detached? Uncaring or heartless?