Zoloft seems to be my deity in pill form. I am doing really well on the meds and so many things are happening. The a/ds have given me the ability to get just a little handle on all the things I knew. I knew I wasn't fat; I knew I was a good person; I knew I should try to challenge my ED/SI thoughts. But I couldn't. I know this now. Now, I can though. And now I AM. I am reinforcing the things I know. I am NOT fat. I am a GOOD person. I am a great student. I am a wonderful horse owner. I am capable. I still find these things pervading my thoughts, but I know I can challenge them and I am willing to try. Sometimes I am more successful than others. But there is clear evidence of my going forward.
I am two days behavior free and I am working on one more today. I can do this. Four days is my goal, but that goal will be reached one day and one meal at a time. Moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. There will be challenges today, but I can do it! I will do it!
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