Something Changed.

I learned to stop obsessing and start eating. Just eating. I don't know what changed. I don't know how I made the move to not listen to Ed anymore, even though I still hear him. I still hear th*n and kinda loathe my body, but I stopped obsessing. Like I pay attention to other things--Economics, Learning, Curiosity, UP. I just seemed to have "gotten it." And I don't even know what "it" is. But let me tell you, I learned to stop obsessing and start eating and life has never been better.

Some of it is that that I finally made the decision to let myself be. What do I mean? I stopped trying to be perfect or doing the "right" thing. I just let myself be. I accepted my playfulness, my curiosity, my energy. I decided to maybe not violently fight against compliments. I still find compliments weird to my psyche and hugely creating of cognitive dissonance, but I stopped objecting.

I have people to thank for this--Dr. B. and Dr. H. especially. They have totally supported my curiosity and my energy. They have encouraged me to be me. AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT. Well they might get some sense of it, but really, I don't know that they really understand how influential they have been. I hope I can pay them back sometime.