Frustrated

So, I have this moral principle--individual responsibility over collective responsibility. I don't know if I want it as a value though. Okay, why do I bring this up?? Because that moral principle has been causing me a really great deal of frustration and "feisty tizzies" lately. I am weird and I don't understand why other people aren't as weird as I am. Like, people honestly don't care. What? I have no concept of not caring. I care intensely and I get VERY committed and engaged. Now, although, I don't really expect people to be as 110% engaged as I am, but I mean, 90% would be good. A little greater concern than 0%.

Maybe I am being really cynical. But it's really frustrating. I don't understand how people do not hold themselves to the same standard I hold myself. Okay, that's not entirely true, I understand a little; that's half the reason I am in T--to learn to have a better, less deadly standard of excellence. But I don't understand why people don't hold themselves to a standard of excellence. I understand avoiding a standard of perfection. Perfection is dangerous. Excellence is a good thing. Energy is a good thing. Engagement is a good thing. Excitement is a good thing.

I am not going to try to push myself into the image of a normal person any more. That is a huge part of what Ed was for me. Trying to be normal. Trying to see the world the same way everybody else did. I never will. I will never be normal; the world will always look differently to me. I will always have weird values. And I think that is a good thing.