I hate the fact that I need. Why? because I am quite comfortable in my belief that needing means I am (a) not independent and (b) imperfect, thus a failure. For those of you who do not have an eating disorder (or other MD/O), I defy you to read that and think it makes sense. It does not to me when I sit here and read the words. I am bright, so they say, and I realize those are damning beliefs. Nonetheless, they guide my actions. They are the all powerful assumptions I have made about my world. Substantiated? Not at all. . . Tenuous? Indeed. . . The challenge for me is to figure out how to change those beliefs.
Look, even as I type this I see only the intellectual Me. There is no emotion in this post. Simply intellect and CT. I am so segmented that emotion and intellect hardly seem to coexist. How to I make Me cohere??
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