Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I binged. . . on peanut butter. . . what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I eat if it clearly makes me feel miserable. And by feel, I mean a physical sensation, not emotional. My stomach feels like I should be pregnant. Every couple days I have this binge and every couple days I hate myself. I don't eat in between too much, but I do this fucked up binge thing. And I honestly don't think it is because I starve myself. . . Because I am never fucking hungry.

God. I hate this. And I think I just make myself crazier every day.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

You may not be hungry, but that doesn't mean your body isn't crying out for certain elements. I had a period where I binged on peanut butter, which was doubly weird because I hated peanut butter as a kid and never ate it as an adult before I started binging on it. Looking back, peanut butter is very high in protein and I think my body needed protein, plain and simple.

HopefullyGrowing said...

Holy cow! Somebody commented! My world is flipped upside down! I think you have a valid point and I also think there is an emotional component to the PB too. It feels like a hug to me. And god knows I am desperate for one of those.