Numbers

Amy mentioned this last time as well. Numbers. Calorie numbers, weight numbers, shape numbers. All things I pay a lot of attention to. She, however, wanted me to spend a little bit more time thinking about this. She is looking for a deep psychological reason or something. Unfortunately, I either don't know what they are or it is just a matter of convenience. I don't know why numbers are so attractive to me or why skinny is so important to me. I really do think it is convenient. I have neurotic energy and traumatic memories and western culture has pushed an ED onto me. . . I don't think the neurological and biological among EDs and most other neurotic/anxiety/depression/agitation based disorders. I do think the borderline and psychotic disorders are related, but distinct from the neurotic disorders. There is an overlap, but it is neither one to one nor onto.

But the whole point was numbers, and I do not have an answer or an understanding of them or their importance. It is normal and convenient and that is all I know about them.