I cannot pretend anymore. I am sick; I won't ever be normal. I just lost it with my animals. Out of nowhere I was overwhelmed by anger. I don't know where the anger came from or what I was angry at. I was just angry. The easy answer was to say that it was the dog and cat and their not getting along. But I honestly thing that was only an excuse.
It was anger from nowhere. It was an overwhelming need to dig into myself. To hate myself. Not one thing about it was rational or responsive. Nope. I wanted to gush blood. I wanted to get into the ER, but I was too scared. I want someone to say "I see." But I won't let me get close enough to appreciate their concern.
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