NO MORE!

Okay, I am getting more and more frustrated with Ed. And I am walking out on him. Granted, he is fucking clingy and hangs on with death grips and I won't be able to shake him easily, but I am SO SICK of thinking about food and weight and the scale all the time. I want to think about horses, about economics, about mathematics. SO, I WILL HAVE NO MORE!

Here is to willingness. I just covered the numbers on my scale with a sign that says "be comfortable in your genes, sturdy girl!" I am going to take my DPs to the dumpster tonight. I am going to eat on my MP, no matter what. No matter how lousy or f*t or uncertain I perceive myself to be. No matter how scared. No matter how frustrated.

It is ridiculous for me to continue to behave this way, especially when I hate it SO much. This is not only a matter of going to the T and the N and the GP. This is a matter of Savvy going to T, and N, and GP and taking all of the advice and knowledge home with her. I am sick of just following what Ed says and not challenging one word of it. Fuck that. Here is to s. I love them, I need them like there is no tomorrow. There is no reason why I should separate my desire for intellectual and personal challenge from emotional challenge. I want to grow and develop all the way around.

So, this is my stand. NO MORE ED! I am not his girlfriend any more.